Behind the Paradigm Shift

By ahpadminDecember 26th, 2010Featured, The story behind the paradigm shift2 Comments
Amber Halland

I waited patiently for the Lord to help me,
and he turned to me and heard my cry. (psalm 40:1)

Growing up I had it all.  Friends, family, anything a teenage girl could want.  In college, I had more still.  Freedom to do whatever pleased me.  Funny that someone who had everything could feel so aimless.  I strived for goals, would reach them and not feel satisfied.  I threw myself in the face of others to make them like me, acquire love but still feel worthless.  I searched in dark places to find truth, philosophies, answers, and end up more confused.  There was something groaning within me – an aching I couldn’t put my finger on.  And when I found myself moving to another new city, away from all that I knew and loved, I found myself truly alone for the first time.  And then I began to see it.

Within days of living in a new place, a co-worker befriended me and told me she wanted to be a missionary.  Confused at what that meant and intrigued that maybe this girl knows the answers I’ve been searching for, I asked many questions and wound up being invited to her church, The Rock in Minneapolis.  Too embarrassed to tell any of my old friends that I was going to church on a Saturday night, I quietly visited the Rock for the first time and heard something that changed my life forever.  I heard that we are all creations of God, but not all children of God.  I knew it.  It was like a light was shined directly on me, because I just knew.  I knew how I was living my life and just knew I wasn’t a child of God.  Then the pastor told this story about the depth of God’s love for each of us.  He compared it to the love a dad has for his daughter.  He described in tears how deeply and instantly he loved his daughter the moment he first held her in his arms. Then he told us that God loves us more.  More!  I sat there with tears running down my face.  YES!  This is it!  That is what I want!  I went home that night and prayed to a God I didn’t know yet.  I prayed “God if you are real, if you are there.  Please do not give up on me!  Please show me.”  He heard my cry.

He lifted me out of the pit of despair,
out of the mud and the mire.

He set my feet on solid ground
and steadied me as I walked along. (psalm 40:2)

And so it began, a “spiritual journey” I called it.  I took out the Bible that I still had from my childhood Sunday school, I joined a Small Group at the Rock, and read “Mere Christianity” by C.S. Lewis which was recommended by a friend I trusted to know about these spiritual things I wanted to learn.  That groaning in me just couldn’t get enough of this.  I prayed, I asked questions to God, I sought him fully.  My heart changed.  It was like a veil was slowly being lifted from my eyes to see and understand.  Almost one year later, at a church retreat, I knew I had exhausted all my questions.  I had seen the real God act in my life.  We sang the words “I will not be silent”, and I stood there singing as loud as I possibly could telling God that I loved him, I believed in him and his resurrection, and I was not going to be silent about this anymore!  That night I was baptized to show the world that I had given everything fully over to Jesus Christ and I was now a child of God.

He has given me a new song to sing,
a hymn of praise to our God. (psalm 40:3a)

Although my heart and understanding changed instantly, my life did not.  God has been so patient with me and truly is steadying me as I walk through life.  Little by little I surrendered parts of my selfishness and pride to the Lord and let him work in me.  Through this process God gave me the songs for the “Secrets” album.  It’s a true story.  A story of surrender.  And a story of the great life changer that is Christ.

Many will see what he has done and be amazed.
They will put their trust in the Lord. (psalm 40:3b)

This is my deepest prayer.  This is why we have worked countless hours to get these songs out to the world.  Because, there is something greater here  than just some songs on a CD.  There is something truly amazing about a changed life.  I hope that these songs will encourage you wherever you are in your relationship with Jesus, and that through His story of what He has done there will be a greater understanding and growing trust.

  1. Kari Dobbs says:

    Beautiful! I haven’t ever really heard your testimony, so I’m thrilled to have the opportunity to read it now. We serve a great God and I’m so proud of you for putting your faith story out there so others can experience the same thing you did. Can’t wait to get your CD!!

  2. Kari Dobbs says:

    PS, I really like the verses you used and how you weaved them so seamlessly throughout your story. :)

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